How to Healthily Move On From a Relationship Or a failed friendship
Moving on can be extremely easy and fast with the right tips.
Having to deal with a breakup sucks as it can be mentally draining and physically painful. Moving on from something you considered precious can seem hard or even impossible but trust me, it’s doable.
Like any other human being, I got my heart broken by people I dated and even friends. The hardest part was learning to let go and move on.
It is natural for friendships and relationships to end. However, sometimes the way they end can be painful and it makes moving on even harder. You must understand that the world will not end now that that person is no longer in your life. You might even end up being grateful and learning something from the experience.
I’m no expert but based on my fair share of heartbreak, I found a bunch of tips that helped the pain go away (no, alcohol isn’t one of them. or is it?). I eventually got the hang of it and was able to move on without holding grudges.
1- Cut off all communication (A.K.A the No Contact rule)
Even you want to keep in touch in the future, it is best if you cut off all types of communication once whatever you had ended. It gives you room to breathe and you don’t feel suffocated.
Some people like to log off social media for a couple of days or even disable their accounts. However, you can just restrict them on Instagram and archive their chats from every platform. Also, avoid stalking them online (you might accidentally like an old post and we don’t want that).
2- Delete everything:
Anything that reminds you of that person needs to be in the trash! Pictures, chats, songs that remind you of them, memes they sent you, posts about them, EVERYTHING. I swear I once deleted memes a person sent me because it made me feel worse.
Michel de Montaigne once said that nothing fixes a thing so firmly in the memory as the wish to forget it. How can you move on if you won’t let go?
If you keep everything it will only bring up all those lost memories and I guarantee you will feel like shit. Also, sometimes, we only remember the happy memories and forget about the ache and pain that person brought us. Humans are weird, I know.
3- Be an adult:
You can talk a teeny tiny bit of shit about them but don’t be that type of person who lets all of their ex’s secrets out. That’s just immoral and shitty. It’ll also make things worse for you. Anger and hate are very strong emotions that tend to consume you and suck the joy out of you. The angrier you are, the harder it is to move on.
You can talk shit about them online but be civil. (make it make sense lol)
4- Stay away from love songs:
I swear this is crucial to your moving on process. I wasted months stuck on the same person because I kept listening to useless love songs.
The thing about love songs is that they are relatable and that’s bad. They’ve been written to be relatable and addictive. They bring you down and remind you of all that hurt.
Listen to this playlist instead, trust me it’ll make you feel SO GOOD. Whenever I feel like shit I listen to it and my mood hits the roof.
5- Find closure within you:
You don’t have to find closure by talking to the person who hurt you. You’ll reach a point where you’ll understand the bigger picture. You’ll find your way back to your old life.
You basically need to accept what happened and try to be peaceful with it.
6- Focus on yourself and know your worth:
When I got my heart shattered (I’m a drama queen), it took me a while to feel alive again. I tried to rebuild myself by doing what I used to love. I slowly started finding joy in everything.
I managed to be happy again and it made what happened really small and insignificant.
You also need to know your worth! You are a badass who’s smart and incredibly hot! don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise! Life is too short to be wasted on people who don’t want to be in it. If someone wants to leave, that’s okay! You deserve to be treated like royalty and people who can’t see that can respectfully fuck off!
7- Avoid rebounds:
Not only is it unfair to the other person, but it can be really destructive as all you do is compare the person you are seeing with the one who left.
Trust me on this one, I tried it and it went horribly. I was still not over the person who hurt me and I ended up doing a lot of self-destructive things that brought all that pain up.
You can try seeing someone new or making new friends only when you are 100% ready. It sounds impossible but it’s really easy and worth it.
It’s better to wait for a couple of months before seeing someone new. It’ll be refreshing and you’ll enjoy it. It’ll also be fair to the other person. You wouldn’t want to be a rebound, would you?
8- Learn the big lesson
You must walk out of this breakup with a lesson! you would either find your true self and you’ll definitely know what you want and don’t want in your life.
I learned a lot about myself from failed relationships and friendships. I discovered great things that made me a better friend and will make me a better partner.
I used to believe that I can save myself from all this drama and heartbreak by not dating and simply staying away from it. But I realized that life wasn’t just rainbows and sunshine and that it’s ok to risk it sometimes. One of my favorite quotes is “In protecting yourself from hurt, you could great a new, subtler type of pain” -Matt Haig. And I LIVE by it every day.
In staying single, new types of pain arose, and right then I knew that life wasn’t supposed to be lived like this.
You can learn a lot from heartbreak and you can easily find your way back up ready for a new adventure.
In conclusion, learn from the past to make it all worth it. Also, don’t date douchebags, that’s just a waste of time. Try to live by my motto: “If they don’t bring you joy or orgasms, they don’t belong in your life.”
Until next week, kisses!
Also read: 9 Red Flags You Should Pay Attention To When You Meet Someone New.
