How To Deal With A Hypocrite Friend
Hypocrisy is a sin
There’s nothing worse than being friends with a hypocrite who sucks the life out of you. This kind of person brings you nothing but misery and torment. You can kiss your personal peace goodbye.
When we encounter a hypocrite, we wish they’d change or that we thought wrong of them and misunderstood them. We lie to ourselves in hopes to save the friendship. We value our relationship more than our ethics. However, when we lie to ourselves, we create a different kind of hypocrisy.
I am, unfortunately, plagued with a hypocrite friend. Let’s call him Dolores Umbridge (Umbitch). I’ve known Dolores for over 5 years and I have been treating them since then with nothing but the utmost respect. I even considered him my closest friend at some point.
About a year ago, I’ve started noticing some major changes in Dolores. He made up this whole fake persona for social media and that’s understandable when you see the standards social media force on some of us. Yet, I can’t seem to grasp why would someone lie to themselves in search of popularity and fame. He’s living in a self-destructive lie and I don’t know if I should burst his bubble or just walk away.
I completely understand that we all don’t put our entire life on display but we also don’t lie. We value honesty over everything. Or at least that’s what some of us do.
The problem with Dolors is that he’s fooling thousands of people. I tried to swallow my tongue and mind my business but I’m unable to do so seeing how he’s been trying to fool me too. He lies to my face and gaslights the shit out of me.
I have done my part and I can proudly say that Umbridge has been demoted to an acquaintance. Our friendship resulted in anxiety attacks mixed with anger fits and I do not need that kind of energy in my life.
Now let me get into how I dealt with Dolores and moved to my quest to find joy in life again. (that was dramatic, I know!)
1. Don’t talk to him about it.
People like Dolores don’t like confrontation, because they believe that they are perfect and can’t be touched. So if you call them on their shit they’ll literally turn on you and use famous phrases like “you are just jealous” and “you are trying to bring me down with your toxicity.” If I’m toxic then Dolores is a lab waste.
The safest thing you can do is to not do anything.
2. Cut them off slowly.
Start removing them out of your life bit by bit. They are like a big load of dishes, it needs time, effort, and patience to get it all washed and put back in cabinets. (If only it was that easy to get rid of people.)
First, I stopped hanging out with Dolores because I simply can’t take his shit anymore. He makes everything about him and belittles me in the process. I now only have to run into him virtually and that’s more than enough.
3. Mourn the friendship.
Sometimes when we lose close friends we mourn the relationship more than the person. It meant something to both of you at some point and it can be hard to come to terms with years of friendship ending.
Just like a break-up, cleanse yourself and get rid of anything that reminds you of them. Luckily for me, my physical memories with Dolores weren’t much so it was easy for me to move on.
Check my blog on moving on from friendships and relationships for more tips.
4. Get rid of the guilt
One of the things that let people go back to old friendships and relationships is guilt. We feel guilty for leaving and we go back hoping to avoid that shitty guilt. No matter how hurt you were, you end up feeling guilty for leaving.
Humans tend to hate feeling bad and would destroy their values just to feel good again. Feelings are fucking weird.
5. Baby bye bye bye
Once you are completely emotionally dependent, it’s time to leave. You can send them a goodbye message or remove them from social media and get done with it. This is where you get creative and choose how to exit.
I’m a drama queen, so my exits are quite spectacular.
You must always remember that you come first (that’s what she said). Especially, when it comes to your mental health. Friends and lovers leave, but you’ll always be there with you (that was poetic). You must also keep in mind that life is too short to be wasted on pointless people. You don’t want to wake up ten years and the future and realize that you have wasted a huge chunk of your life on shitty people. You might also not wake up.
On this creepy note, I end this week’s blog and bid you adieu.
Until next time, be true to yourself.
