Why Do Homophobes Behave The Way They Do?

And can it be changed?

As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I find it very difficult to live in a homophobic society. I always wonder why do some people find it difficult to accept others. What goes in their mind that makes them homophobic and extremely aggressive.

Although not everyone is homophobic, it would have been better to be seen as an equal in society instead of being judged by one’s sexual orientation.

I personally have no problem with straight people because what they do in bed does not concern me, yet others find it difficult to accept another person’s sexual orientation just because it doesn’t conform to “society’s norms”.

I want to deeply talk about homophobia because I genuinely don’t understand the motives behind this hate and aggression. Maybe there is an actual reason behind it? Maybe it’s just selfishness?

1- Religion:

Most people I have encountered who are against the LGBTQ+ community use religion as a base for their opinion. Basing your hate towards an entire community on your religious beliefs is something I can’t understand. Yet, some people will use religion to convince a person to change their sexual orientation saying that it’s a sin and they want the best for them.

It’s understandable to follow your religion’s views but what’s not normal is forcing your views on others who might not even share the same religious views with you. You can’t assume someone’s religion and you can’t ask people to change their identity just to conform to your own views.

Even if they share your views, you simply cannot tell them what to do as everyone is responsible for their own actions.

Although most religions are against homosexuality, they also state that you should be kind and loving towards others. “Love thy neighbor as thyself” right?

I, unfortunately, used to be friends with a raging homophobic who asked me for a threesome and then, later on, shared a very disturbing post on the LGBTQ+ community while hiding behind religion. I reminded him that hypocrisy is also a sin and I blocked him.

2- Traditional upbringing:

Now, the second argument this type of people will use is that “homosexuality isn’t normal and it makes them uncomfortable, it’s not something they are used to seeing”.

I honestly don’t know what is “normal”? Who defined normality in the first place? That argument might’ve been acceptable in the 1800s but not in 2022.

A person doesn’t have to get used to another person’s sexual orientation. They just need to accept it and move on.

Following this logic, I don’t feel comfortable seeing a straight couple as it doesn’t go with my upbringing so no, don’t be straight. Do you see how funny that sounds? If homophobia was the other way around, this type of people would do anything to stop it and defend themselves.

3- Society:

Another argument that cracks me up is “Well, I don’t support your sexual orientation because it will confuse the children of this society”. Aren’t we confusing kids with displaying straight relationships on TV and at school? Just because a child sees a queer relationship doesn’t mean they will be queer. It will only make them more understanding and supportive of others. It’ll also make them feel supported in case they were part of the LGTBQ+ community.

I honestly pity the children who grew up in a homophobic household. I always wonder if their parents will disown them if they ever identify as part of the community.

Harry styles and a pride flag

LGBTQ+ community members don’t want your support or love, we want to be accepted as part of society and to be left at peace without being harassed daily. If you show your respect to others, they will respect you back no matter your beliefs as long as those beliefs don’t harm anyone.

Please note that I’m not attacking anyone with different religious views but merely pointing out that you can be a decent human being while still being religious. And this only shows that if I can be okay with your beliefs although they hurt me, you can be kind and nice to others no matter what.

While we already know that homosexuality isn’t a choice, this detailed argument list only proves that homophobia is in fact a choice. It costs $0 to be kind to others.

Like His Majesty, Harry Styles said: “Maybe we can find a place to feel good and we can treat people with kindness”.

Until next time, be like Harry.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Ehssan El Medkouri

Ehssan El Medkouri

I read, write, and embarrass myself online. A 24-year-old passionate published author who wants to travel the world and visit every bookshop possible ✨🖤