What does writing mean to me?

Is it a hobby or something more?

At first, writing started as a hobby; it was more like writing a diary, I would just write what happened that day on a piece of paper, I would lose the paper later but that wasn’t a problem, I enjoyed scribbling down my day.

It was hard writing in English Since I didn’t learn it until I was 14 years old; I learned from watching movies with Arabic subtitles; I learned from listening to pop songs; I used to speak gibberish, not English. I worked so hard to build vocabulary, but it was extremely worth it.

Like every other teenager, I started using Wattpad, I spent hours and hours of reading fiction. Then it hit me: I want to be a writer!

It was not as easy as it seemed; I lacked in every way possible, my grammar was horrible, my vocabulary was weak, but I didn’t give up!

I wrote my first short story based on a dude I had a crush on, when I go back and read it, it sounds like it was in another language, however it reminds of how much I’ve learned, I made my younger self proud.

About three years ago, I started a Facebook page where I shared whatever came to mind, I mostly wrote about my feelings, I love writing my feelings out, it feels like that’s the only way I can express myself.

I love how I teleport when I’m writing a story or even a brief article. I love how I’m disconnected from my world yet connected with my mind. I love how I can write whatever I want without even sharing it. I love how I can use my writing to solve my personal problems. I love writing.

I tried to write my first novel; it was on my bucket list. I started in 2018, had a year of writer’s block, which made me realize that I can’t write when I’m stressed, It was hard finding the mental energy to write when I had to work the entire week and study during the weekend. Weeks after graduating and quitting work (which I deeply regret), I started writing again, I tried to finish what I started.

Writing that novel was one hell of a ride, I sometimes found it difficult to write one full sentence; I would just sit there staring at the blank page and cry! If I could count the tears I produced, it would be more than the words I wrote. However, it was worth it.

I finished my novel in the beginning of August 2020, then another chapter started; editing! Little did I know that editing is as hard as writing, but I will talk about that another time.

I finally agreed with the saying ‘practice makes perfect’, the more I wrote the easier it became, it was as if words hit the keyboard before they hit my mind, I became a natural.

The key to writing is practice; I try to write every day, I would write at least one paragraph, if I collect all the notes on my phone, I would have a book called ‘random thoughts’ (I would buy that). I also avoid editing while I’m writing, it’s like watching your unfinished painting, it ruins the mood.

To get in the mood, I get my giant iced coffee cup by my side, a good playlist on Spotify (mostly Opera or Queen) and I turn off the lights, I try to do most of my writing after midnight when the house is quiet. You know when you want to get intimate with your partner; you lit some candles, dim the lights and play the most erotic songs you can find, you easily find yourself in the mood; I need to have that same energy if I want to write something good.

I don’t know what is my style yet, I’m working on finding it by writing different genres, I tried fiction, mystery, crime, and poems (no, I won’t share the poems).

One more thing I love about writing is seeing other people react to what I write. Whenever I write a new blog, I send it to my friend ‘A’ and literally wait for his reply before sharing it anywhere else, I love it when my readers (that sounds good) have different opinions, I love it when you guys share your thoughts with me, or when you suggest new topics to me.

I wish I could change somebody’s life with my writing one day because it changed mine; for the better.

I hope this means something to you guys because it means a lot to me.