Was Ross Geller A Bad Boyfriend?
Yes, here’s why!
Recently, I’ve been rewatching Friends for the 10th time and I couldn’t help but notice how toxic Ross is. I’ve always noticed, but this time I just couldn’t look past it. What started as a cute crush ended up in a manipulative relationship that destroyed Rachel’s love and trust in him.
In the very first episode, we found out that Ross had a huge crush on Rachel literally weeks after he had just gotten divorced from Carol. And oh, don't let me get started on his relationship with Carol and how it ended. Yes, Carol should not have cheated on him, but still, the way he reacted to her coming out and to Susan's part in Ben's life was really shitty.
From what Ross said, he had a crush on Rachel for 10 years and didn’t do anything about it?? He then had the audacity to ask her out the day she left Barry at the altar. While they didn’t actually go out right then and there, Ross never asked her out again, then he had the audacity to feel hurt when she started seeing Paolo. We hate Paolo, I know, but the way Ross treated him was horrible.
When Rachel found out Ross was in love with her, that's when shit hit the fan. Dino-boy cheated on Julie with Rachel, then he had the balls to make a list comparing the two women. I know I know, it was Chandler's idea, but still, Ross shouldn't have made that list, to begin with.
Once they started dating, they had a couple of cool months, until Rachel got the Bloomingdale's job. That's when Ross became more possessive of her.
When Rachel got her life together and became more responsible, Ross didn’t like it. He hated Mark, who did nothing wrong but got Rachel the job. He didn’t respect Rachel’s boundaries and couldn’t get it through his thick skull that she was actually happy and had other responsibilities.
In that cursed episode, “The One When Ross And Rachel Take A Break,” Ross’s true colors are shown and that’s when my anger hit the roof. When Rachel couldn’t get out of work for their anniversary dinner, Ross brought that couscous basket to her work even though she explicitly told him not to.
He interrupted her important phone call and caused a fucking fire. Whenever I heard the laugh track during that scene I wanted to smash my skull in with the pepper grinder Ross used. And when Rachel got home after she told him to leave, Ross told her that it was ok, that she was just stressed. HE MADE IT SEEM LIKE IT WAS ALL HER FAULT.
The aftermath of that fight ended up in them taking a break and Ross cheating on her. Whether they were in fact together or not doesn’t matter as Ross shouldn’t have slept with Chloe that VERY same night. Don’t get me started on Chloe either. She was like, “Are you married because I don’t really mind?” WHAT!
While the breakup started the funniest joke in the history of jokes, it was really shitty because Ross really tried to manipulate Rachel and gaslight her into believing that the breakup was her fault. He tried to fit her into this mold. He wanted her to be dependent on him and I hate him for that.
When they didn’t get back together, he tried to ruin every relationship she had. I don’t wanna get into the aftermath of him cheating on her because then I would have to talk about seven seasons worth of drama and toxicity but if I was Rachel, I would’ve broken up with him before the anniversary fight. Actually, I would not have dated him at all, he waited 10 years to ask her out, then he literally wanted to own her. Toxic much?
Anyway, I just finished this episode like 10 minutes ago which is why I’m ranting but if I was Rachel I would not have let him walk all over me like that.
To all the Rosses out there, I hope you drown in that gel. All men should use Ross as the type of boyfriend they should not be. No one deserves to be treated the way Ross treated Rachel.
So yes, to answer my own question, Ross was, in fact, a bad boyfriend, and in my head, they did not end up together at the end of season 10. In my head, Rachel got on the plane and Ross got hit by a fucking truck, McDreamy style.
Thank you for reading/listening to my rant. And I genuinely want to know your opinion on this, was Ross toxic or not?
Until next time, don’t be like Ross.
Also read: Feeling Stuck In A Toxic Relationship — How To Identify It And What To Do
