And you won’t have to lie.
We have always been in that sticky situation of wanting to get out of a friends reunion, a family gathering, or even a date without hurting the other person’s feelings.
I personally cancel a lot of plans if I know that I would come back home drained mentally and I’m not ashamed to admit it because my mental health always comes first. Sometimes, I just don’t want to go out, it’s that simple but if I say that to my friends, I will simply stop having friends.
I’d rather sit at home and read a book than go out and feel dead inside as it’s not fair to both myself and the people I’m supposed to meet.
The hard part about canceling or rescheduling is not knowing what to tell the other person without sounding selfish.
I try to not be blunt because I hate making people feel bad. Yes, I’m a people pleaser and I like everyone to not get mad at me. Dumb, I know. So, instead of telling the truth, I alter it a bit. I never lie, I just conceal the truth.
I always have a list of excuses to use when I want to avoid going out. They come in handy a lot and I bet they will be helpful to you too.
1- My grandma is dying:
Aren’t all humans going to die? Technically, we are all dying so saying that my grandmother is dying is absolutely true and not a lie at all. Sorry, grandma!
2- I don’t feel good mentally:
Everyone can relate to this one as we all feel mentally fucked up 24/7. No one feels good 100% of the time, right?
The downside of this one is that people will try to follow up and check up on you and that would only make you feel guilty. But hey, we don’t care.
3- I need to clean my house/room:
We always have something to clean, whether it’s a closet or the entire room so technically, this isn’t a lie. This one actually encourages me to clean and fold my fucked up closet.
4- I’m broke:
My go-to excuse because not only is it believable but also true. We are all broke. The only people who can say that they aren’t broke are millionaires.
You might have a thousand dollars in your bank account but does that make you rich? All humans are broke until proven otherwise. Until then, I identify as ‘broke’.
5- I need to take a shower/I need to wash my hair:
A person can take a shower literally anytime they want. You blowing your friends off to shower is more than plausible and acceptable.
If you are blessed with oily hair like me, then it’s better to stay home and shower than go out with that oily mop on your head.
6- My friend is going through a rough time and needs me:
When have you ever not been needed by your close friend? Whether they have texted their ex, about to text their crush, or cut their bangs too short, they need you, and you must stay home and assist them.
7- I’m babysitting:
Who am I babysitting you might ask? Well myself! I need to sit down and keep myself from making terrible life choices and rash decisions. I need to be watched and there is no one who can do that better than myself.
8- My back hurts:
(from carrying all the looks in this friendship? yes). Seriously though, I am a 24-year-old with the back of an 80-year-old.
My back is always in pain and it keeps me from doing stuff. I sometimes go out even when it’s really really hurting.
9- I’m reading a book and it got so good:
I have actually been using this as an excuse not because I wanted to avoid going out but because I was enjoying a book and didn’t want to stop reading.
Books come first, they are tied with mental health in the list of priorities.
10- I don’t want to.
This one requires the courage of Catherine The Great when she revolted against her husband Peter. Rip off the band-aid and just be honest. If your friends really valued you as a person, they would understand. Otherwise, you are better off without them.
Bonus 11- Send them this article!
Just send them this article and I’ll do it for you.
Dear person who received this article, your friend doesn’t want to hang out due to personal reasons that they simply don’t want to disclose with you. It is totally fair and you should respect that. I assure you that they will ask you to hang out when they want. You can then use this article as a UNO revere card.
Until next time, use one of these excuses and let me know how it goes! xx!