Nobody Really Knows You
Does anyone know who you truly are?
A couple of days ago, I was listening to Queen’s Invisible Man. One of the lyrics said “No one knows what I’ve been through” and that one sentence made me think about how no one knows what you have been through, no matter how much you tell others, they don’t really know who you are.
So, I took it upon myself (as always) to delve deeply into how no one knows who you truly are. I think I read about this in a book once, but I can’t remember the title. Or maybe it was from a movie (or maybe it was a hallucination?) Either way, it said, “No matter what you believe, no one truly knows who you are.”
Basically, from the moment we slip out of our mothers’ body hole, we become an independent entity that can think, talk, and make our own life choices (cry and shit endlessly as well). We start forming a personality, an attitude, and our own opinions on the things happening around us.
No matter how old you are, your parents believe that they know you better than anyone else. While your friends believe that they know you better than your parents. Your therapist thinks they know you better than the rest. When in fact, no one fully knows you and I can explain why.
See, when you’re with your friends or with your parents, or even your therapists, you‘re not 100% open with them. You always keep something to yourself, no matter how small it is.
When you’re with your parents, you don’t talk about your friends or about your mental health. Your friends know your political views and even sexual orientation, heck even your sexual fantasies. What I mean is that you don’t share the same thoughts and feelings with everyone you interact with. Hence, why there isn’t a single person on this miserable planet that fully knows you.
Something else we do as questionable humans is that we alter the way we talk and what we share depending on who we are talking with. We switch codes depending on the person sitting in front of us.
For example, my parents know absolutely nothing about my dating history, therefore, they do not know everything about me. My friends, on the other hand, don’t know my daily routine or my struggles at home, so they, too, don’t know everything about me.
Personally, I believe that we shouldn't be 100% open with everyone. I don’t think it’s even possible to be fully open and honest with everyone. It’s hard, especially, when you don’t know yourself either. Do you think that you know everything about yourself? If you do, then you, my friend, are delusional (with all my respect.)
I’m not being delusional either, I mean, do you really know who you are? What you truly want in life? What you truly believe in?
There are millions of questions you could ask yourself, and you wouldn’t know the answer to. And that’s ok! Yes, you should be more in touch with your feelings and beliefs, but it’s ok if it takes you some time and effort.
I personally didn't know A LOT about myself until 2020. When I had free time and could really “sit down” with myself, I finally was able to listen to myself and learn a lot. I discovered major things about myself, such as my sexual orientation, my religious beliefs, and even some shocking stuff about my mental health.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I think it’s totally normal for people around us to not fully know us. Even if you spend every waking moment of your life with someone, they still wouldn’t know you.
Heck, we even joke about it when we say “ah, I need to make up a new personality to talk to this person” At least I say it, so excuse me if you don’t feel the same, and I’ll drive myself to a mental institution right away.
On that note, I invite you to try to know more about yourself. It’s really feasible. You can take yourself out on a walk or to a coffee shop. It’s like taking someone on a date, you listen and analyze them. You can find a lot of new things about yourself, trust me. That way, you will be closer to knowing yourself than anyone ever could.
Also read: Why Can’t Some Humans Say Sorry
Until next time, know yourself.
