6 Ways To Deal With Strict Parents

Based on true events.

Growing up with strict parents was one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through. I’ve talked about how it was a long time ago. You can check it here.

About two years ago, I started realizing that I had wasted my teenage years. My parents wasted them to be precise. I tried to wriggle out of their grip little by little and it was pretty easy to do but it took me a while to get the hang of it.

First of all, if you have strict parents, you must understand why do they behave the way they do. They are overprotective for a reason, not that is a viable reason. They are strict because they had strict parents and that’s the only way they know to show love. However, that doesn’t mean it’s the right way.

What pained me the most during my childhood was how much strict my dad was. He was suffocating at some point and it did me nothing good. It only thought me how to lie and manipulate them into getting what I want.

Once you understand the reason behind your parents’ behavior, you need to figure out how much their strictness affected your life and your personality. I used to believe I was an introvert who liked spending time indoors. Turns out, I never really knew how it felt like to be outside having the time of my life.

The way I was raised affected me deeply. Not only did I not have fun, but I also didn’t know how to. It also caused me severe mental health problems that I spent money on therapy to fix.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling the way you feel now. You did nothing wrong. You wanting to live your life the way you want isn’t something you should be ashamed of. You don’t owe your parents anything. “Oh, but they raised me and gave me a roof over my head”. That’s their responsibility as your parents. They brought you to this world because they wanted to and they shouldn’t expect anything back from you.

Next, you get to make your way out. There are a couple of things you can do that have been proven by yours truly.

1. Stop asking for permission. Do you want to go out with your friends? Don’t fucking ask for permission. Get dressed and tell your parents that you’re going out. Assure them that you’ll be safe by telling them where you’re going. Your parents will start seeing you more as a responsible person and less as a child.
2. Be confident. If you tell your dad that you’re going out while trembling, he’ll sniff your fear easily and turn you down. Parents can easily tell when you aren’t sure of something and they’ll use that against you. So be bold!
3. Be aware of the manipulation and don’t let it get to you. If there was a prize for the best manipulator it would go to parents and toddlers. They can easily get into your head if you aren’t careful enough. If you set your mind on doing something, just fucking do it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, including dear mama and papa.
4. Tell them how you feel. I found that talking to my parents about how they make me feel made them more understanding. I kept my words short and direct. I had to be very careful with what I said to avoid coming on disrespectful or rude. I also didn’t let their response get to me. My mother wasn’t too keen when I told her how I truly felt, yet I genuinely can’t remember what she said.
5. Get a job or a side hustle. When you’re financially independent, your parents will start seeing you as a responsible adult and they may lay off you a bit. It also makes running away easier. (I’m kidding… or am I?)
6. Give little details about your life. Don’t share too much, your parents don’t need to know everything you do or plan to do. Only share what you’re comfortable sharing. My parents currently don’t know about my future plans and goals because I’m not ready to tell them yet. I tried to be open in the past but I didn’t get the encouragement I expect and it affected me deeply so I decided to keep my goals to myself. It also feels great knowing something no one else knows.

It took me a while to get my freedom, although I still live with them. I’m trying every day to prove to them that I’m an adult who is capable of making big life decisions and can take care of herself.

Please note that this type of parent can’t understand why we want them to change. They raised their children the way they were raised and it can be hard to break out of this cycle.

Good luck xx.